Pre notes
I think I’m probably depressed
- I have no energy, no motivation for the future
I know I’m in the perfect position to change my life
But I feel overwhelmed & exhausted, just thinking about the future
It comes in waves. Generally I’m close to null
- but the best times are when I’m calm, optimisticv, and see the fun of it all
- this normally happens after 1am, so I push myself to stay up later
Maybe I just need more sleep?
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Upside: I tidied my room today and made progress on the bathroom. I’d noticed that everywhere I look,
wherever I go in the house, theres a reminder of something else I need to do. Some small, often big
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Rules:
- Al good thoughts must be followed by a balancin negative thought
- I should find reasons to criticise myself + feel bad about everything
- I still compulsively theorise so I guess a rule is, I haver to prepare for everything
- its more positive now but xtill draining
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I want to stop thikning and just go with the flow. Work stuff + socialising, it’s natural to me, it doesnt need any effort
but nothing’s happening atm
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I think this numbness served a purpose. But now I want to turn it off.