Journals

Journals from various sources.
Spanning from 2004 to 2016.

  • tired

    I seriously thought i was done with this. Today i woke up beside a gorgeous girl, we fooled around then held each other, and i couldn’t have been more relaxed […]

  • bedazzled

    It was the most striking sculpture he’d ever seen, curved to natural perfection, encrusted with dazzling jewels that lit up like tiny suns and mirror eyes that reflected the sorrow in his soul.

  • pills

    [ancient poems ~ 2008]

  • been a while

    [from a post on the talkingclock side journal] May 23, 2008 I’ve got half an hour to write before my bus arrives. God, i’ve not been here in so long. The content of my journals is staggering, spanning years of ups and downs, relationships, drug abuse, isolation and old connections. These things are such a…

  • disorders (cont) + coping

    Imagine having something wrong with your arms. They’re too short for you to function properly. Imagine living life with such short arms, never being able to reach the things you always wanted, not quite getting to the places you know you could, if only your arms were as long as everyone else’s.

  • disorders (cont) + development

    Inattention can be described using my current situation, as I am writing this. My head feels swollen with data coming in, and I’m trying to process it as fast as I can.

  • drugs + disorders

    I’m been on Prozac, then Dr. Soni prescribed me, at 21, these drugs that just made me feel groggy and hung-over all the time. This new doc, Dr. Sultan, has got me on ‘Depakote’ and ‘Respiridone’.

  • need to get it out

    I need an account of the things I have done up until this point, else I shall forget them. I am still at WHSmith, and the name alone sends a shiver of disgust through my body. The company is failing and the manager of the shop I work in is a slimy little worm with…

  • cushion

    [from a post on the talkingclock side journal] June 9, 2007 (This was a letter i was going to send to M., but current circumstances seem to indicate that it won’t ever be sent. So it’s open information. There are references to the reader; these are to M.) I wrote this when i was about…

  • future

    [from a post on the talkingclock side journal] im going to the doctor on the 10th. i’d like to emerge different. i’d like to stop ticking. i’d like to think clearly. i’d like to be new. that’d be nice. people go through their entire lives trying to find something that’s not there. some turn to…

  • boy: journal

    [The final recoverable entries from boy, ~2005. Oldest first. Written after a long hiatus from boy, marked by a shift in approach, total honesty, and a bleak depression. The actual dates are unknown, due to a corruption of the system that once stored them.]

  • secret

    [The last entry from my 2004-05 era with another, which is now almost entirely unrecoverable.] i have a secret i’m dying to tell you. school’s out for 2 weeks. i’m trying to make conversaton here. i’m not very good at that, though. i need to pick myself up… but i just feel so drained. to…