These are leftover seeds I never ended up expanding on for my piece “Hostility“, because they didn’t fit, felt superfluous, or would work better separately.
The true vulnerability at my core. The little boy inside of me.
Tony’s “win” condition: He doesn’t want to resolve it, as other people would. He just wants to argue.
Me snapping at [redacted]. It was a source of inspiration, to change.
(The world couldn’t work if people were like that all the time)
There’s evidence that this isn’t the case, all around us.
The black hole/whirlpool analogy: Avoid it! Steer away!
And if you can’t do it this time, then let it be a lesson:
Get stronger. Excercise your mental stuff so you’re strong enough to pull away next time.
“Well at least I’m not Tony”.
Not, but I am like him.
The importance of admitting that I’ve been an arsehole.
It’s incredibly hard, as nobody wants to admit that to themselves, let alone to other people.
—
It might seem like I’m overthinking all this. Like I’m making a big deal out of snapping at someone. But it is a big deal, it’s not normal behaviour, it’s not healthy, it’s not good. To say that snapping is fine is to say that the other person’s feelings being hurt, as a result of my malicious actions, is acceptable. But it’s not, at all. By working on myself to get better, I’m making a statement to myself, and to them, that hanging on to my old trauma, or protecting my ego, or controlling any anger in me, is far less important than that person’s happiness. I care more about looking after them than I do about being a dick.
^ Intense feelings lead to intense thoughts. (Note: This can also cause over-catastrophising). But also intense actions, which take more intense actions to counter-act. So if, for example, you feel a bit sad, they you can normally find something to cheer yourself up. It’s not drastic or intense. But if you feel inconsolably sad, to the extent that it’s affecting every aspect of your life, then it’s time to seek professional help. Because intense feelings require intense actions.