Things to Remember 2 === * Try to see the bigger picture: what is at stake? What can be gained? Consider all of the involved components objectively, but be aware of your subjective feelings toward single elements, and the reason for this more singular focus * JG Ballard - Ultrasonic music story: The invisible effect of our environment (and the few people who are aware of it) * New feeling: Quiet, accepting patience -- acquired while making a coffee for Kevin in the morning, half asleep but far beyond being frustrated by my duty to fulfill his needs, and his expectation of this. * Bill: Endearment; revulsion; anger; acceptance; indifference -- behaviour was both discordant to expectations, and violated social equality beliefs; concept of Bill was lost, replaced with bitterness, which eventually subsided as a new persona developed for Bill * Understanding Kevin as a complete person * The purpose of every person (and how thinking about this can impede life) * What each of my guys represents about being human -- which involves not only being caring, but being cared for too (big emotional realisation!!) * Are you offering practical solutions to personal (emotional) problems? * Religion: Conquering (the fear of) death * ADHD & meds: Less thoughts = more order, less chaos = less feeling, less fun (30mg) 1 === * Trial and error! Every mistake is a learning opportunity. Every time an interaction didn't go to plan, you discovered something new about yourself and another person (maybe even people in general?) * Pain and stress prevent kindness (and rational thinking) -- they drain your capacity for thinking about yourself, let alone for empathetic thought -- Use fallback systems, to rely on when normal cognition is inhibited * Trying a new approach? Allow people to remix it: their practical involvement promotes social collaboration, and helps them accept the change and mentally commit it in a personal way -- Let people try your fixes, don't re-arrange * ADHD: a life of delicate balance * Tourettes can be a Gateway to your Subconscious * What I'm learning from each guy * Sequential Thinker * Talking down without "talking down" -- Learnt skills that can't be put into words * Non-religious agnostic: How my idea of agnosticism has evolved * Church elation, the joy of total acceptance, and the mental contradictions that shatter this illusion * Transgender theme in Swiss Army Man -- judgement and self acceptance * ADHD: Automatic empathy (floods your brain) * Freedom to be myself in special situations (around K, who doesn't judge): perfect situation to learn who I am * I'm a very natural person, living in a world of old, unnatural ideas
Jan 17th ======= * ADHD personality traits (from annual review): Question things, never happy with the answer "that's just how it is". Work really well in a crisis -- the extra stimulation is what we're always craving, and puts us into a natural state of quick thinking, fast acting, and situation management. * The heart surgeon who always burn toast, and her struggle to come to terms with being super capable in one area but inept in a very normal area. * "Assign a facilitator. They usually take on notes, schedule times, and want the group to stay on the agenda" Jan 24th (Tuesday) =============== * Jenny from swimming: Exhausting herself doing what she loved; charging too little for what she offered because of the supplementary passion she had; wants to live a life of love and caring, but that's not a viable path in life. Now settling down somewhat to work on security -- can pursue larger life goals later on. Found a partner who balances her intuitive emotional side. * Thom Hartmann ADHD lecture: "behaviour precedes cognition" Wed 25th Jan =========== * Pauline: "There's no such thing as patience, just impatient people". 26th ==== Tribal roles; maleable drone 29th ==== Feminist, happy agnostic, secure polyamorous liberal. + Movies -- Her, Inherant Vice, Moonrise Kingdom + TV -- Rick & Morty, Always Sunny + Books -- A Scanner Darkly, Naked Lunch, nonfiction + Music -- Emika, Lana Del Rey, DnB etc. + Video Games -- co-op, Metroidvania, indie Important to me: Growth, experiences, balance. * Everything is trial and error * CV === * Making the Web beautiful * Why is Web development important to me? And why a senior role? 3rd Feb ====== * Spoiling Kevin -- after effects! * Friends: utility, pleasure, virtue * I am motivated to find people who share my virtues 4th Feb ====== * it's human a desire to manipulate our environment through creativity 5th Feb ======= * Some people seek stimulation, others attempt to avoid it. 10th Feb ======= * Transfusion of ideas 11th Feb ======= * Vulnerability and dependency 12th Feb ======= * "10% of the variance in people's levels of happiness is caused by circumstance (wage, class, race, age etc.). 50% is genetic, and 40% is down to intentional activity." 15th ==== * The best people support the things you like most about yourself. 16a == * Embrace your individuality. Avoid people who criticise you for doing this! * "Karmic flow": The way things just "work out" when you're positive, reflective and helpful * "Live in their world" - Debbie * Conversation: Like peering into someone's living room through open curtains * Debbie chat: I don't have an interest in nails; I have an interest in the person telling me about nails! * I need to be around people who don't laugh at me when I quote Aristotle 16b === * Today Dora told me that I shouldn't show people every part of me, instantly, during social interactions. This made me realise, with clarity like I'd never experienced, how little she knows about who I am now. I am a listener, I told her. The people I talk to barely know a thing about me, while I know everything about them. She has such strange ideas about me. * I'm a special kind of odd: it's not that I'm unaware of social norms; I AM aware, I just choose to defy them. Craig and Bev