I just woke from a dream:
- BJ had lost weight, lost her boobs but was thinner (on reflection: more like when she was a girl)
- Work environment, but cosy:
- Woman kept fainting, someone else advised to take her home, get her to take a week off where she could just relax (and I saw how that had played out)
- Someone used my mug, I decided I was fine with that
- Granny was there
- Some people were taking off early, I was hesitant as it was against the “rules” but it was actually fine
- I followed Granny out, suddenly she disappeared, I couldn’t find the trail of other office people so didn’t know what to do
- Ended up going into into “exploration mode”, followed a hill-like path down to a riverside shack where lots of people were sat, chatting, eating, enjoying summer
- I wondered around the back, and that put me in the dark side of the city, potentially dangerous, kept my guard up and walked back round
- Main thing I wanted to write about: I got in line to buy food, there was a guy there who was struggling, he said something about it all being too distracting, I said, “ADHD?” and he gave an affirmation;
- I said, do you want the name of some good meds? He said yeah
- The next part was weird and unclear
- But then I gave a mini speech:
When you have ADHD, you have to work so much harder to achieve what other people can do at their baseline, ie. without even trying. So when you get medicated, and suddenly you can achieve that same baseline, then all that work you put in shines through.
All the efforts you made to make yourself better, they make you a much better person than if you hadn’t put that work in: More attentive, more considerate, more careful; it’ll depend on the parts that you struggled with most, because those are the areas you had to work hardest in. Some of my areas are:
- Empathy
- Emotional regulation (incl. patience)
- Self discipline
- Self encouragement